Pretty-God-doG :)

Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think,Peter?
Peter: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
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Peter: Mom, does God use our bathroom ?
Mother: No, Peter. Why ?
Peter: Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells - "Oh god,are you still there?"
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-If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
-The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.