More-Microsoft-Shark

-What is the different between the condom and the parachute?
-When the parachute became tear - one man less. But when the condom became tear - one man more.
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One man wanted to become a famous writer. When his friends asked him what does he mean by 'famous writer' he answered
-I want my works to be read by many people, and when they read them to become so exited so they would scream and cry !
And this man has achieved his dream. Now he is working for Microsoft, writng error messages...
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-Captain, there is a split on shipboard!
-How do you know?
-There is a shark into the pool.